When reality television star and fashion blogger Lauren Conrad was asked what her “favorite position” was on a live radio program a while back, the women listening held their breath. Although we take great pride in the work that we do, most of us could relate to being undermined and belittled publicly at work. When Conrad cleverly retorted “CEO,” it was hard not to aggressively high-five our laptop and mobile devices. The words “hell” and “yeah” could be heard all across the nation.
*upper middle class fucker voice* But you have [one nice thing] so how are you poor
Some years ago, a good friend of mine got denied benefits— I think it was food stamps— because she had a car. Not an expensive or fancy car, but still a car. It was considered an…
- DISCLAIMER: all i do is talk about my favorite characters. somehow. in some way. that's it. that's all i do. all the time
so there’s a pigeon i used to pass by in my old neighborhood all the time and he was really fat because people would just toss him food and literally he sat in the middle of the sidewalk and people would just step over him, he wouldn’t even flinch. seriously you could sit down next to him and just feed him and he would be chill.
he was there every day and all us locals would affectionately refer to him as ‘lard-ass’
If you think your mom overreacts just remember once my mom cancelled our trip to New York because I refused to eat the meatloaf she made
my mom accused me of selling my birth certificate and social security to the black market when she couldn’t find them